Inadequate.
I feel inadequate today.
It all started from some unintentional reminders from friends.
One said they had other plans after the party. The "party" will go on. Judging by the boys' laughter that ensued, I am guessing that was a direct indication to sex.
Another is not wanting to engage in this department for a bit because of reasons. But it became a reminder all the same.
Another said they have some feelings of guilt in certain situations.
Why don't I want it? Why am I so weird? I have wanted it rarely, and not necessarily strongly. That's why I chose the gray-asexual label. It feels strange to exist in this world, all the same.
This will come and go.
Maybe it will make sense again one day. At least enough so I don't feel left out. That's a feeling I don't want to feel if I can help it...